Inside my blood and spirit I have always felt since young times that I am more like an animal than a human being. My deepest fascinations for nature and all the animals were never something external to me. Instead, at first they inspired awe and continue to, but also connection and unity. I am going to attempt to the reason why I have chosen the name :wolfshaman: as my art/writing name. If only everyone had the same realizations of their unbreakable unity with animals as well, then humans would be more pleasing to interact with.
Some people, depending on what culture, personal ideology, and spirituality would think it vainglorious, ignorant or absurd to be associative with animals. I have only recently discovered the concept of otherkin, and though this does not change anything personally to me, it is another vector to be used to further understand my self and the alternative nature of humans, as animals. As for my inclination towards mammals, I suppose this stems from a certain attachment to my own form, as it has been studied in anthropology that the human type identify closer with those of the same kingdom, and otherwise will veer towards recognizing more popular or rare animals like condors, eagles, sharks, snakes, owls, etc. The otherkin ideal does hold a close reverence for me, because of its inherit respect, understanding, and mutuality with animals. This for me draws closer to human nature than any other culture, and as we have evolved to possess this spirit, it would be a healthy practice to exercise this in the flesh, as well in the mind and beyond.
I love all animals, not only wolves, but these creatures through their heritage and revered status have attracted me more intimately. Wolves are a great portion of my heart. Their predatory nature is akin to that of my own, because I have constantly thought and experienced life as something like a struggle for supremacy over myself, ever since my own apostasy. The wolf is an impeccable adapter that strives in the harshest conditions, and contains the power to survive over the weaker animals. Their loyalty is hardly matched in any other species of mammal, as they will stay with their mate, sometime until death and fight any intruding individuals. This relates to my own nobility and willingness to defend myself in hostile arrangement, against others, even while down in numbers. Their truly wild symbolism, their call that echoes on dark nights that provokes fear against meek creatures, yet a potent degree of the collective. The wolf-pack that hunts together to overcome. The wolf-pack concept would be one way to describe my own relations to other like minded individuals. We wolves are in constant opposition and trying to ventour ideas, our strategies, and our cunning comes out to shine in the end. The association of the wolves with the dark aspects of nature, the moon, the forest, the eerie howl, death, and fear. I feel these are symbols of what drag me along in my own life, to co-exist with this darkness. Not necessarily these specific places as the means, but being a shadow of what is common. The seeker of that which is ignored or judged. The very beauty of a arctic wolf, striding through a snowstorm, or a gray wolf peaking over a tumultuous mountain precipice is something I see every time I think about wolves. The way they play a role to each other, and have highly social bonds is inspiring to the point of my own love.
The shaman part would of course represent the purpose of shamanistic practice. That is, to go beyond the surface temporal existence and experience something profound that can alter the being on a deeply emotional and personal level. The experiences are then brought back to normal life to enhance what you are, and shape what is to become. So the wolf is the atavistic animal connection of otherkin that I use to portray as a vector to use to achieve something that goes past the mundane world, and into the realm of secrets. The wolf as a peak in the biological triangle that causes a ripple to echo to other smaller fauna, and the shaman going to the pinnacle of existence to teach and impart wisdom. They are one in the same in :Wolfshaman: that is me. At least on personal encounter with the animal breed, I feel in my bones a certain completeness. I have only ever seen 3 wolves, and they were domestic/tame you can say, but they still filled my with absolute attraction, and I know I will see my spirit animal in the wild before too long. It is a passage of my own closeness to them, and the way that animals seem to understand me, that tells me about my spiritual unity to our counterparts in nature, and admiration for the wolf.