North, Home

I opened my eyes and the panorama of my vision could no longer see the orange lights from the houses, or the metal guardrails. A snow field extended out before me over the frozen lake, where I sat, and the blown down, gnarled forest of the boreal beyond that, as it always had been, I saw vague bodies clothed in brightly pigmented colors, a herd of reindeer running in both directions and the drumming of their hooves, I heard their indiginous chants to the animals, and others singing or playing, and the vista of my eyes saw comfort, acceptance, tradition, in my bones I felt home, family, tribe…

…then the stark halogens and electronic music of a car passed behind me on the road, and I became aware that I was down the road from my bedroom, sitting on the frozen lake, and had experienced a moment of true peace and belonging, which vanished as the dim of the car sped further down the backroad. In that moment I was free. Words called to me to find my people, find home, survive, and thrive